I ran a half marathon on Sunday, and it only took me two hours, thirty-eight minutes, and five seconds. After running for 13.1 miles straight, I can officially report that running is fun and runner’s high is real. Sorry to anyone I called or texted anywhere between miles 4 through 11. All I can say for myself during that time is the endorphins had me feeling amazing and my inhibitions were completely released. So obviously, I started making phone calls from the track. In all seriousness though, this may have been my first half-marathon, but I don’t think it will be my last.
Here are some shoutouts from race-day:
Thank you to my sister, Olivia, for running ahead of me, both in this race and in life.
Thank you to Brennan for yelling my name louder than anyone has in human history.
Thank you to Alex for taking my sweaty jacket.
Thank you to Fallon for making a cutie sign and giving me a tissue.
Thank you, MK for explaining to me where Franklin Avenue is.
Thank you Ellie for being the world’s best cheerleader.
Thank you Tali for telling me to break a leg.
Thank you Aishia for tracking me during the race because I ran faster knowing that you were virtually checking in on me.
Thank you Charles for being there even though I never saw you.
Thank you to the 2:30 pacers for being my best friends for the day even though I did not speak to you and you do not know who I am.
Thank you Beyoncé for releasing your album, 4.
Thank you MUNA for releasing the song “Runner’s High.”
Thank you to HOKA for releasing gay pride running shoes that I refer to as my “Pride 3000s.”
Thank you pasta and bagels.
Thank you to everyone who made a sign that said, “On a scale of 1-10, you are a 13.1.” That is a very sweet sentiment albeit horribly unoriginal. I saw at least 35 of those.
Thank you to every hot person I saw along the route who inspired me to pick up the pace.
Thank you K*nye for releasing the song “Jesus Walks,” and thank you Spotify for letting me listen to it six times while running through Downtown Brooklyn.
Thank you, Brooklyn.
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Congrats superstar!!!